Gridlock: Finding the Courage to Move on in Love, Work and Life - Jane Greer - Hardcover - 1 ED

How to Spot a Dead-End Relationship Danielle, a public-relations executive whose client roster reads like a Who's Who in film, politics, and media, seems to have it all. Dressed in a black sheath and Sabrina-heel shoes, her pale-blue pashmina shawl casually wrapped around her toned shoulders, she sank into the couch in my office with a deep sigh. "I'm thirty-four, I manage a bicoastal PR agency, I've already made more money than my parents ever did--and I'm miserable," she said, her steady voice belying a barely concealed anxiety I've come to recognize in many young women these days. "I've exceeded my dreams," Danielle continued. "For the past ten years I've poured every ounce of energy into my work. I've loved it, and I'm very proud of what I've accomplished. Not to mention the fact that it's extremely glamorous to fly first class, eat at fancy restaurants, and hobnob with people whose names appear in boldface in the gossip columns. But though I've worked hard to get here, the truth is, I'm burned out. And lonely. I'm dating two men--if you can call it that. I hardly see either of them because of work conflicts. And there's been no one special in my life for years. Considering my hours, how could there be? I can't find time to take care of a dog, let alone a relationship. But I'd be lying if I said I loved being single. I want a meaningful relationship with someone who thinks I'm special. I want to be married. I want a child. Yet I feel trapped, and it's all my own fault. Some days I think about quitting, even though the very idea is terrifying. How would I support myself? But if I don't, I'm heading toward a goal that no longer holds any meaning for me. Does this make any sense? I always thought this was what I wanted to do with my life, but now I'm not sure. I don't know what to do, and I feel so stuck. Am I expecting too much?" Like many of her contemporaries, independent, spunky Danielle has earned an impressive reputation and a resume to match. But on a personal level, she's nowhere near where she wants to be. The pride she justifiably derives from her accomplishments is tinged with anxiety; the joy of reaching a goal, shadowed by the loneliness of crawling into bed each night alone. Depressed and confused, she doesn't know what to do or where to turn to relieve her pain. "This is one problem I just can't fix," she said sadly. And so the woman who seems to have it all stays stuck. She's hit gridlock. At one time or another, you probably have, too. Although the people or situations may change, gridlock's impact remains strikingly the same: You are not getting what you want and need in love, in work, or in life--and chances are you never will. You are stalled in a relationship or a situation that is empty, unfulfilling, or hurtful. Yet, for reasons you can't fully understand, you hang on and continue to rationalize what you are doing and why you are staying in a dead-end situation that is clearly toxic to your emotional and physical well-being. Gridlock is the inertia that keeps you stuck. It is all those experiences trapped in your unconscious mind that are replicated over and over again in each relationship you have and each life choice you make. When you're gridlocked, you feel angry, edgy, or frustrated, yet you're unable to put your finger on why a particular person, work situation, or life choice is so damaging to your self-confidence and self-esteem. You are giving too much to, and getting too little back from, people who seem unavailable and unsupportive. You feel defeated, hopeless, and above all, trapped in a position that is clearly unyielding--but you have no idea how to move on. Moreover, you're not entirely convinced that you should. You inhabit an emotional wasteland. Your head tells you one thing, your heart another. What Keeps You Stuck? If you're reading this book, you're probably hungrGreer, Jane is the author of 'Gridlock: Finding the Courage to Move on in Love, Work and Life - Jane Greer - Hardcover - 1 ED' with ISBN 9780385494731 and ISBN 0385494734.