Yeah, I Said It

Part One Are We Mad?I don't mean to disrespect the president...that's bullshit. You know I do. Hasn't anyone noticed that his eyes are getting closer and closer together? Pretty soon his left and right eye will be the same eye. If you look at him in just the right light (i.e., the light of truth), he resembles that weasel from the Kipling story, Riki-Tiki-Tavi. Talk about beady. And I'm supposed to trust this guy? He's either the greatest hypnotist since Svengali or we're just stupid.Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we get rid of one president for lying about a government-sanctioned hotel break-in? And didn't we oust another because he lied about whom he had sex with? Last time I checked lying to us to justify a war trumps breaking into a hotel room and a blow job. Note the key word: lie. The only thing Bush II has done is get caught in lie after lie. Lies about the deficit, tax cuts, Social Security, the Iraq war. But we let him just keep on keeping on. What's wrong with us? Would we put up with that kind of treatment from anybody else in any other situation? Hell no!Are we nuts? Why aren't we having a fit? Bush said that Saddam was an "imminent threat to our security." He said Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. He lied. We didn't find shit. Then he tried to twist it by telling us they found some equipment that could possibly be used to make WMDs. What kind of bullshit is that? Either he's retarded or he thinks we're retarded. I took a physics class when I was in high school, that don't mean that I'm at home whipping up bombs.Why aren't we in the streets screaming for him to be impeached? Are we under some fear spell? He lied. I've seen people more upset when Whitney is a no-show. Let Streisand cancel a performance. It's chaos. "Babs said she'd be here tonight. She lied! That cockeyed bitch lied!"See, to me, America is like my car. I love my car. And my car is supposed to take me wherever I want to go as long as I keep the "governing" fluids changed and get regular tune-ups. That's what elections are: a nationwide tune-up -- every four years. So that makes the president sort of like...our mechanic. And all we want from him is to just keep our shit running good. That's all. If he can do that without costing me an arm and a leg, cool. But, what if my mechanic was not only incompetent, but constantly lied about what's wrong with my car. A real-live Mr. Badwrench. Actually, more like a Mr. Fucked-up Wrench. Never fixed the car, just kept washing it. That's all, just washing it over and over and over again. My car's falling apart, but "it looks clean." Wouldn't I get a new mechanic? Or at least give another mechanic a shot? Wouldn't I report him to wherever bad mechanics get reported? Damn right. Look, in November, since we can't just up and buy a new car, can we at least get someone to get this bitch up and running?Look Over Here!We have U.S. soldiers being killed every day over in Iraq because of an unjustified war that Bush started. The economy is in the toilet. The education system is failing our kids. The deficit is out of control. However, instead of fixing any of this shit, the president focuses on nonproblems. We won't think about what is really going on if he makes us think that the real problems are steroids in sports, space travel, and gay marriage. You've got to be kidding me. Sometimes I feel like we're trapped on a bad Fox reality show, Joe President. He's not really a president. He's a construction worker. If he gets reelected, he gets a million dollars and we get screwed.EnhancementsIn what will hopefully be his last State of the Union Address, George W. said that we needed to crack down on the use of steroids in professional sports. When he said that, I was like, "Nigga, what?" I'm sorry, I rarely use that word, but he deserved it for saying some dumb shit like that. With all that's going wrong in thisSykes, Wanda is the author of 'Yeah, I Said It' with ISBN 9780743482691 and ISBN 0743482697.