Which Big Giver Stole the Chopped Liver? A Ruby, the Rabbi's Wife Mystery

Chapter One "What do you think, Ruby?""I'm thinking pimento cheese and tuna fish disguised as a sushi roll doesn't do it for me, Essie Sue."I use my cocktail napkin to remove all traces of the inedible faux sushi she's just forced through my lips with her Verry Berry talons."But the chef says he'll name it the Essie Sue Roll in honor of our booking the hotel party rooms.""Maybe that should tell you something about how desperate he is for business." Milt Aboud's low growl is barely audible in the background, but Essie Sue hears it."He's not desperate at all -- you know this hotel is the best convention site in Austin. In fact, I had to talk the manager into squeezing our Temple Rita reunion group into the hotel at the same time they're hosting a world-famous convention. This is the final menu-tasting session -- the others didn't go well."Essie Sue doesn't miss the look Milt gives me. "You're just jealous, Milt, because you and Ruby aren't getting this banquet catering job for The Hot Bagel. You're already catering the closing Donor Breakfast at the temple -- what more do you want?""Oh, we're desperate, too," Milt says, "sales have been down all year. And you can bet your Lexus I wouldn't have driven all the way up from Eternal to Austin for reasons other than financial."Milt's my working partner in our bakery, The Hot Bagel, and not exactly a fan of Essie Sue's, although in emergencies, I notice she always wants his opinion. Not that she listens. She's been asking and not taking my own advice for years, ever since my late husband Stu came to Eternal as rabbi of Temple Rita. Yes, Rita. Essie Sue was head of the Rabbinical Selection Committee at the time, and in a masterful stroke of self-perpetuation, engineered her own election as Permanent Chair of the Temple Board a few years ago.The three of us, Milt, Essie Sue, and I are sitting at a lone folding table under a huge crystal chandelier, sampling food served by what looks like the entire hotel catering staff. Essie Sue's bites are always minuscule, in pursuit of perpetual thinness, which she's already attained six times over. Her Tawny Blonde page boy of years past -- way past -- has flipped outward and upward this year in the latest svelte cut, but still remains as tawny and moussed as ever.This room could easily hold several hundred people, which is one reason I'm wondering why our event, planned for a mere fraction of that number, is being given such attention. Maybe the hotel is desperate, but the more obvious answer is that the banquet manager, like the rest of us, succumbed to Essie Sue's Godfather treatment."I told them cheap but elegant," Essie Sue informs us as we're served something called Imitation Caviar, which more than proves the point, with the emphasis on cheap. Milt shifts in his chair in an effort to escape, but before he can get up, an assistant hotel manager makes an appearance."I've brought along my own caterer from Eternal," Essie Sue tells the manager, "and he's quite taken with your spread.""Yeah, taken ill," Milt says in my ear, and I kick him to behave. We honestly can't afford not to get at least part of this reunion for The Hot Bagel. What my interest in our partnership earns isn't enough to support me, and it's rough going even with my second job as a computer consultant.Fortunately, the manager doesn't notice my boot under the table. He's more interested in the bookings."What's your latest count on the hotel guests? And it's for what special occasion, Mrs. Margolis...'"Essie Sue sticks an engraved invitation in his face by way of explanation, though in my opinion, it looks more like a summons to a seance than to a reunion: Come One, Come SomeYou Are Cordially Invited toLa Dolce Vita at Temple Rita -- Homecoming for the Long-Gone Join This Exciting Reunion of Those Who HaveDeparted from Our Beloved Eternal, Texas, and[read more]