What Women Really Want How American Women Are Quietly Erasing Political, Radical, Class, and Religious Lines to Change the Way We Live

Introduction: America in HER Image At a recent focus group composed of working women and men, a male executive stated, "A successful day for me is when I don't have to talk to anyone." As several men in the room nodded in agreement, the women stared at him incredulously. They just didn't get it.If men feel more in control when they are left alone, women thrive on collaboration within a collection of interconnecting networks. "For me a successful day is when all my relationships are clicking," countered a woman in the focus group.It's not exactly news that men tend to isolate while women communicate; the news is the way this one simple reality has sparked a movement. Cubicle by cubicle, neighborhood by neighborhood, on playgrounds, in coffee bars, on commuter trains, at community and school functions, in shops and health clubs, at conferences and retreats, informal female networks are relaying information, offering support, solving problems, and making a difference.A Revolution Without FanfareEileen, an internist in her forties who specializes in women's health, likes to tell the story of her first anatomy class in medical school. "Our anatomy texts referred to the male as the human prototype, the biological ideal. Female anatomy was only discussed when it digressed from the male standard. Smaller bones, a uterus, breasts that interfered with easy dissection, a weaker musculature. It was ludicrous -- like saying children are merely miniature adults. But that was the attitude in the medical community. Some of those anatomy texts are still around, even though we know better today. Women aren't just smaller, weaker versions of men. They're unique."The medical model that Eileen describes is a fitting metaphor for what it has meant to be a woman in America. Although women have made tremendous advances toward equality and self-determination in the past century, the strides were usually measured by how successfully they adapted to the male standard. The canvas was already painted. The mold was already cast. Women were left to add the final touches, the accessories -- a dab of color here, a high-heeled shoe there. Success in business meant showing she could be tough like a man. Success in marriage and motherhood meant satisfying the needs of her family. Few women in their right minds remained single by choice; status accrued with marriage and children.Even in recent, more enlightened times, women have typically been defined not by what they are but by what they are not. A woman on her own is unmarried. She is childless. If she is at home raising children, she is nonworking. Many women have thus been diminished by the language of the day.Politically, women's influence for most of the 85 years since they earned the vote has been relegated to "soft" issues -- education, health, and family values. Candidates didn't talk to female audiences about the stock market, business, crime, or the military. They talked about schools or the environment. While these issues are still dear to them, women have broadened their scope of concern as their influence has grown.The women's movements of the last century have accomplished a great deal in improving access and opportunity for women in business, education, and the military. Today, we are in a decidedly post-feminist age. More and more, women are not fighting for a place in the establishment. They are the establishment.Without fanfare, almost stealthily, America has become women-centric, reaching its full expression in the first decade of the twenty-first century. As a not-so-silent majority of women -- from seniors to boomers to Generations X and Y -- confront the singular challenge of recasting the nation in their image, they are shaking the culture to its core. Some grew weary of pounding at the seemingly immovable fortress of the male norm. Some gave the male norm the heave-ho altogether.As pollsters and analysts, we've noticLake, Celinda is the author of 'What Women Really Want How American Women Are Quietly Erasing Political, Radical, Class, and Religious Lines to Change the Way We Live', published 2005 under ISBN 9780743273824 and ISBN 0743273826.