Soul Obsession When God's Primary Pursuit Becomes Your Life's Driving Passion

REDEEMED BY LOVE Iwas twenty-two years old when I received word that my mother was dying, and I wasn't prepared for the mixed feelings this news would elicit within me. I was living in New York at the time, still a relatively new baby in the faith, and serving as the head of Teen Challenge Ministries. My mother was in Las Piedras, Puerto Rico, on her deathbed in the tiny stucco home where I had grown up. Most of my seventeen brothers and one sister were already at her side by the time the news reached me. I wished I could have said that I loved my mother at the time, but I couldn't. If anything, my feelings toward her ranged from hate to indifference. I'd spent much of my childhood hiding from her and the balance of it getting away from her. To me she symbolized everything that I despised about my past. I wanted so much to forget the many times she had beaten me and cursed at me. I felt detested by her, even as a young boy. I remember standing before her once as she called me a "child of the devil" in front of her friends. She made me feel like nothing, a waste of space on the earth, a mistake, an ugly child who should never have been born. For so many years I longed to get close to my mother, to hold her, to feel her kiss on my cheek. But Satan had such a grip on her heart that she didn't know how to love, and I didn't know how to love her back. Evil had taken hold in her spirit, and it wouldn't let her go. Wouldn't allow her to be the mother that I so desperately wanted and needed. And now she was dying. Was I supposed to be sad? to cry? to pretend that I loved her and run to her side like any good son would do? I honestly didn't know. But deep in my heart I did know what Jesus would do. He would go see his dying mother. So I booked a flight to Puerto Rico. I had forgotten how beautiful Puerto Rico could be. Growing up in such darkness and horror, I had never learned to appreciate the picturesque surroundings of our little island in the Atlantic. Las Piedras is perfectly nestled in a valley of lush green, framed by untold beauty. You feel as if you could reach out with one arm and embrace the magnificent El Yunque Mountains, and with the other allow your fingers to swim along the aqua blue waters of the ocean. We used to call this place "The Rainfall." It's one of the most stunning places on earth. Seeing my parents' house for the first time in seven years was a bit of a shock for me. The place looked so small and insignificant. Like any other house on the block. But in my heart I knew that wasn't true. This house was evil to the core, filled with horrible memories and unspeakable pain. Every crevice harbored demons of abuse and neglectdemons that still lingered, roaming the halls at night, haunting like a bad nightmare. I could feel them in my bones. Behind the home, about a hundred yards into the woods, still stood the large round buildingthe place that so frightened me as a child and now sent chills to the center of my being. As a boy I knew it only as the "Spirit House," the place where my mother and father went regularly to summon the healing spirits. The town was convinced that they knew what went on here, and rumors ran thick throughout Puerto Rico, but few had seen it up close and personal. They suspected evil and talked of the hideous things going on inside the infamous Spirit House; I had seen it firsthand. As I stood staring at the large round building framed by trees, the memories began to rise to the surface. Memories of strange and unexplainable things that happened here on a regular basisthings that I still resist speaking of, all these years later. My father was a spiritistsome say the most powerful in all of Puerto RicCruz, Nicky is the author of 'Soul Obsession When God's Primary Pursuit Becomes Your Life's Driving Passion', published 2005 under ISBN 9781578568932 and ISBN 1578568935.