Pregnancy Blues: What Every Woman Needs to Know about Depression during Pregnancy

1 Great Expectations CULTURAL MYTHS, CUSTOMS, AMBIGUITIES, AND MISCONCEPTIONS OF WOMANHOOD, PREGNANCY, AND MOTHERHOOD If some enterprising salesperson were to create a pregnant woman's coloring book aimed at the North American market, it would surely come packaged with a box containing nothing but pastel crayons with names like Blissful Blue, Perfect Pink, and Mother's Mauve. No Black Cloud, Blue Funk, or Red Rage in that crayon box! And the mothers outlined in the book for coloring would all be smiling serenely, gazing lovingly into the eyes of their partneran equally blissed-out expectant fatherand, of course, looking nothing less than beautiful. If that sounds like the Hollywood image of pregnancy, it is certainly the one that's been sold to Western women, and that Western culture has naively bought into. For the majority of women, it is probably even a fair approximation of the truth. It is not, however, the image of pregnancy that I see every day. And if we look a little more closely at the myths and mixed messages that have historically surrounded fertility, family, and femininity not only in our society but in cultures throughout the world, we can see thatas is so often the case with the images Hollywood has for salethis is one that may have been meant for viewing through rose-colored glasses. To begin close to home, let's take a quick look back at the history of our own North American culture as it has grown from a mainly agrarian to a mainly technological society. In times past, when we tilled fields, worked the land, and subsisted mainly on what a single family could produce for both sale and sustenance, children were important assets. As farmers, ranchers, or even local shopkeepers, we needed those extra hands to work alongside us and help to support us. Fertility and motherhood were, therefore, valued as well, and a woman's primary role, aside from taking care of the family homestead, was to produce and nurture children. "Mother" was a prized and universally recognized job title. I know that for many modern women, reading about the difficult and often isolated lives of those pioneer and farm wives will immediately bring to mind the now-classic advertising slogan "You've come a long way, baby!" And indeed we have. But that also begs the question "Where have we arrived?" In many ways, of course, the lives of twenty-first-century women are dramatically better. And it's certainly true that, from a medical perspective, obstetrical care is better and more universally available than ever before. But what about the lives of mothers, and even the value we put on motherhood itself? For the majority of Western women today, motherhood, rather than being a primary function, has become no more than an add-on. Even those of us who truly yearn for children, who unwaveringly wish for the chance to be mothers, are unlikely either to perceive motherhood as our only goal or to have the luxury of enjoying it as our only job title. In a technologically driven society, pregnancy is too often perceived as an interruption of or an addition to other, more valued activities. At best, we are ambivalent about where pregnancy and motherhood belong on our list of priorities. "Stay-at-home mom" and "mommy track" are terms that have entered our vocabulary with a kind of stigma attached. Women who choose (and have the luxury of choosing) to opt out of the job market or limit their career path in order to spend more time with their children are often marginalized by and isolated from their working peers. Those who choose to pursue both career and motherhood, on the other hand, are often made to explain or justify their choice to those who believe they "should" stayKulkarni Misri, Shaila is the author of 'Pregnancy Blues: What Every Woman Needs to Know about Depression during Pregnancy' with ISBN 9780385338660 and ISBN 038533866X.