People Code A New Way to See Yourself, Your Relationships, and Life

Chapter One The Fundamentals of Your Personality MOTIVE: THE DRIVING CORE OF PERSONALITY We know we have a conscience that talks to us about what is right and what is wrong. We also have a driving core motive that speaks to us often about being true to ourselves and playing to our strengths. Just as we ignore our conscience, we are often guilty of ignoring our core motive in life. Our driving core motive knows us and wants our lives to be successful, and ultimately we must choose to listen to or ignore who we are innately and what will make us most happy in life. The following plea is written directly to you from your driving core motive, asking you to trust that it knows who you are inside. It knows what works for you and what messes you up. It can help you be far more successful because when you act congruently with your innate self, you will find that life makes more sense for you as well as those around you. After witnessing for the past twenty years the astounding accuracy of your driving core motive, this may be the single most significant piece of self-awareness you will ever come to understand in your lifetime. I recommend paying attention to what it has to say. I have always been with you. From your first heartbeat I was connected to you and we will remain inseparable until you die. Being your constant companion has its definite ups and downs. Sometimes I feel dismissed by you and wonder, "HOW CAN YOU SIMPLY IGNORE ME AND PRETEND I DON'T MATTER!" It is times like those that I want to make you WAKE UP! Wake up and see your true self! It makes absolutely no sense that people resist seeing themselves for who they really are inside. Frankly, everyone's life would make so much more sense if they simply understood why they think and act as they do. I am always watching you. I am so much a part of your internal fabric that you typically don't even recognize that I am with you. We move "hand in glove" because of our connection. When most people see your behavior, they don't know why you behave as you do. But I do! I know exactly why you think and feel like you do. I know why President Bill Clinton couldn't keep his pants zipped while serving in the White House, tainting an otherwise inspired presidency. I also understand why his most cynical opponents find him charmingly irresistible in person. I know why Oprah Winfrey runs a quality media empire but can't trust the intimacy of marriage. I understand how she can be compassionate and cruel in the same day. I know why Brad Pitt abandoned his marriage to Jennifer Aniston for a relationship and children with Angelina Jolie. I also know how Angelina controls the momentum of their lives while he controls their emotional moods. I know why Meryl Streep, considered by many to be the greatest actress of her day, chose family and a committed relationship as her primary focus in life. She never saw her career as separate from her life. There is one of me for every person on the earth regardless of when or where they were born. Some people appreciate me far more than others. Some people actually remain trusting and connected throughout their entire lives while others discard me with disdain. Your thoughts and actions make perfect sense to me -- except when you act differently from whom you really are! Sometimes you act like someone you think you should be. I have to admit, when you do that it drives me crazy. You can be so frustrating when you let others convince you that who you really are inside isn't enough -- isn't who you should be! Then you go off pretending to be someone whom others want you to be. I can't tell you how difficult it is to sit back and watch you sort out whether you should be true to your intrinsic self or pretend to be what others tell you to be. It's times like these when I have to simply wait until you returnHartman, Taylor is the author of 'People Code A New Way to See Yourself, Your Relationships, and Life', published 2007 under ISBN 9781416542308 and ISBN 1416542302.