Miss Vera's Cross-Dress for Success A Resource Guide for Boys Who Want to Be Girls

CHAPTER 1 Faculty Tea Dear Student, an invitation is extended to you to attend a tea party reception with the academy deans. This will be your opportunity to meet the teachers with whom you will study as you proceed on your journey to cross-dress for success. We are all seated at a lovely, big, round table. It makes it so much easier to share a conversation. Miss Viqui and Miss Melissa are in charge of the tea service; these are our two etiquette experts. Miss Viqui is the voice you hear when you telephone the academy. And it is a lovely voice that she has, calm and reassuring and very polite, which is what she expects you to be. She sets the tone for your visit. We all understand that you are nervous (I prefer to think of it as excited). Miss Melissa, in her signature pillbox and early nineties Versace suit, takes a moment to compliment you on your outfit. Miss Deborah, our fashion maven and academy dean of cosmetology, has helped you pick out a pink suit with a peplum that gives you just a bit more flounce around the buttocks. Miss Deborah and I both love our pink suits. Hers is suede by Rena Lange and mine is Chanel and is festooned with gilt threads and gold trim. In fact, each of the deans is dressed in an outfit by her favorite designer (oh, it's so hard to pick, isn't it?). Miss Viqui is in a piece she saved from Willi Smith. Miss Barbara Carrellas and Miss Kate Bornstein, our "too tall blondes," are sizing you up and smiling. They can't wait to whisk you away to play. Miss Barbara is our dean of femmenergy and Miss Kate, our dean of hearts. Neither one believes in labels, except on their outfits. Miss Barbara will help you experience yourself as pure energy. She's a dynamo in her swinging bell-bottoms by Norma Kamali. Miss Kate was born a man and became a woman, but when that didn't fit, she decided to be neither, so she's a "gender outlaw," a term that sounds familiar because that is the title of one of her books, and it is in your pink-plaid book bag. She's a Betsey Johnson fan 100 percent. Uh-oh, Miss Melissa, devil that she is, has asked you to pour Miss Eva a cup of tea. Oooh, I know it's quite a challenge, particularly since Miss Eva, our dean of seductive arts, has leveled her provocative gaze on you. I hope you've been paying attention to the pouring process. Miss Topaz, our dean of nightlife and newest dean, takes pity on you and whispers a reminder to use the tea strainer. Place it over the cup before you pour the tea from the pot. Your poor hands are shaking, and we can hear the clink as the lid rattles on the pot. Whew, success. You thank Miss Topaz. Miss Topaz, our East Village fashion innovator, combines slutty and classy in a wardrobe from Religious Sex, Trash and Vaudeville, and Daffy's ("Bargains for Millionaires"). She says she's a drag queen trapped in a woman's body, so she fits into our faculty perfectly. "Is this your first visit to New York?" That's Miss Judy, our dean of voice. She's always full of questions. Miss Judy is an accredited speech therapist. Before her involvement with the academy, she had the least experience with our kind of girl, and she is totally fascinated and dedicated to helping you in your quest to sound more feminine. Putting voice to your emotions is so important. So she asks a lot of questions to hear what you have to say, to listen to the way you say it, and to give you instructions. Miss Mariette Pathy Allen asks if you've ever seen yourself so totally transformed. For many of your sorority sisters who visit, this is the very first time they have been done up with such expertise. Miss Mariette will record this moment with her camera. She will be thrilled to lead you to what she calls "the dance of self-acceptance and self-creation" and to help you realize you are a three-dimensional person who can present herself in many ways. Miss Mariette likes to present herselfVera, Veronica is the author of 'Miss Vera's Cross-Dress for Success A Resource Guide for Boys Who Want to Be Girls', published 2002 under ISBN 9780812991956 and ISBN 0812991958.