Killer Lunch Lady

CHAPTER 1 "I think Mrs. Holt is a killer," Mike said. "Me too." Keith said. He had a bag lunch, but he was looking at my food. "Yeah," I agreed. "I know what you mean." I looked down at my tray. Big mistake. It's best not to look at it. At least notstraight on. Lunch food. It was better just to eat it. You know, with your eyes closed. When you looked at it, you wouldn't be hungry anymore. Any idiot knows that. School lunch food was most edible when you had a cold. Then you couldn't smellit. Or really taste it. That's when it tasted best. Too bad I didn't have a cold. "Whatisthis?" I asked. I poked at my lunch. It didn't move, so that was a good thing. The only problem was that I didn'tthink it should be brown.Whateverit was. "I'm not talking about the food," Mike said. "What?Youlikethis stuff?" I asked as I poked at it again. Itstill didn't move. "Of course I don't like it, Al!" Mike said. "Do Ilooklike I don't havea tongue?" We all stared at Mike. "You look like you don't have a brain," Roshni said. Roshni always cracked on people. No one took it to heart. "Can youlooklike you don't have a brain?" Keith asked. "I mean, that'snot something you can reallysee." "At least not yours," Roshni said back to Keith. Things were getting out of hand. I had to change the subject. "I think it's meat loaf," I said. "My brain?" Keith asked. I wanted to say something to Keith, but knew that one Roshni in the bunch wasenough. Before Roshni could answer Keith, I spoke up. "No, the brown stuff. I think it'smeat loaf." "Would you forget about the brown stuff?" Roshni said to me. "For all we know,it's poop on a plate." Mike threw his fork down. "Okay. Now I can't eat it. Thanks alot!" "You were going toeatit?" Roshni asked Mike. "I'm so hungry, I was going totry." "Here. Take my corn bread," Keith said. He held out a square of corn bread. "Your Mom'sfamouscorn bread?" Mike asked. Keith nodded. "Thanks!" Mike said as he snatched the corn bread out of Keith's hand. Hestarted eating it like he was onSurvivoror something and hadn't eatenin days. "God, this is good," he said to Keith. He was taking huge bites. Just then, four tables over, everyone started screaming. A crowd formed, and Roshni ran over there. Keith, Mike, and I stayed seated. We figured we'd wait until Roshni came back.We knew he'd tell us everything. "That idiot -- Chris Vale -- shoved another Tater Top up his nose," Roshni saidas he came back. We rolled our eyes. "Yeah, what else is new?" I said. Chris Vale shoved a Tater Top up his nose atleasttwo times a week. Wethink he did it to get the attention of some girl. But all he got was Mrs. Holtjumping over the lunch counter. Mrs. Holt is the lunch lady. She's a real weirdo. And of course, she can't cook. That's why the school hired her. Have you ever met a lunch lady who could cook? I can see their interviews. The school principal asks a future lunch lady tobring in a sample of her cooking. If it's totally disgusting, she gets hired. Ifher food is somewhere near good, she's probably told to go to a restaurant. "Nouse wasting your skills onthesekids," the principal probably says. "You know, I've never had a school lunch that was any good. Inallmyyears of school," I said. I poked at the brown stuff some more. "Yeah, me neither," Keith said. "That's why I 'bring.'" "Can you guys forget about the food for a minute?" Mike said. He looked worried. Or upset. I couldn't tell which. But Keith hadn't noticed. "We're atlunch, man. How can we forget about food?" Keith asked MLeonard, Elise is the author of 'Killer Lunch Lady ', published 2007 under ISBN 9781416934653 and ISBN 1416934650.