I Heart You, You Haunt Me

He Spiced Up My Life When you meet someoneso different from yourself,in a good way,you don't even have to kissto have fireworks go off.It's like fireworksin your heartall the time.I always wondered,do opposites really attract?Now I know for surethey do.I'd grown upgoing to the library as oftenas most people goto the grocery store.Jackson didn't need to readabout exciting people and places.He went outand found them,or created excitement himselfif there wasn't anyto be found.The things I like arepretty simple.Burning CDs around themes,like Songs to Get Your Groove On andTunes to Fix a Broken Heart;watching movies;baking cookies;and swimming.It's like I was a garden salad with a light vinaigrette,and Jackson was a platter of seafood Cajun pasta.Alone, we were good.Together, we were fantastic. The Final Good-bye Ashestoashes. Dusttodust.I thinkthis is whereI'm supposed to saygood-bye.Is that whateveryone's thinking?Good-bye, Jackson?Rest in peace?That's not what I'm thinking.I'm thinking,I hate good-byes."Let us pray," the minister says.Dear God, What can I do?He didn't deserve this.Can't we bring him back?Isn't there anything that will bring him back?Please?Amen I look around.If tearscould bring him back,there'd be enoughto bring him backa hundred times. It's Not Fair Mom takes my handand leads me backto the car.All I can think aboutis how my boyfriendwill soon beunderground.He'll be lying therealonein the dirt.Mom asks meif I want to go to the Montgomery house,where people will gatherto eatand talkand remember."I can't believe people feel like eating.And talking.Those are the last things I want to do.""Life goes on, honey," Mom says.As we pull away,my eyes stay gluedto the casket.It's proofthat sometimeslifedoesnotgoon. As Two Names No More Ava + Jackson = true LOVE 4everI hearts; JacksonJ loves AA loves JScribbles I madeon my French notebook.I study the wordson the purple notebooklike I used to studyJackson's facewhen he wasn't looking.When we got home,Mom suggestedI write down my feelings.Basically, keep a journal.But I can't stop staringat those scribblesand thinking about howthey used to be true.But not anymore.Now it's just Ava.No more Jackson.No more true LOVE 4ever.I turn thetear-splattered cover.I put the pen to the page.All I can write isJacksonJacksonJackson Jump In I started swimmingabout the timeI traded my bottlefor a sippy cup.Mom took me toa Baby and Me classat the pool.She said I was so naturalin the water,she wonderedif she'd actually given birthto a mermaid.By high schoolI was swimming competitivelyon the swim team.Jackson cameand watched me swimmany times.That's where it started."I dare you to jump off the high dive," he saidone day after practice."You know I'm afraid of heights!""Exactly. That's why I'm daring you."I couldn'tdisappointmy boyfriend.I climbed the ladder,making sure I didn't look down.I inched my wayto the edge of the board,then I crossed my fingers,closed my eyes,said a prayer,andjumped.My stomach flewto my throatas the airrushedaround meand through meuntilI hit that water hard."I did it!" I yelledas I climbed out of the pool.He brought me a towel and simply said,"That's my girl." Nothing to Do Now This summer,I could have made moneyat my second home.I could have satSchroeder, Lisa is the author of 'I Heart You, You Haunt Me', published 2008 under ISBN 9781416955207 and ISBN 1416955208.