Going to the Chapel

I'm a toppler.You know, down the stairs in my mother's high heels. Head over heels off my first bike. You get the picture. I've always been right there taking the next step without looking to see if there's a place for me to land. Of course, I don't intentionally topple down stairs or fall into trouble. Sometimes things just happen. Like now. Here I am in the middle of a typical Julie White moment. If you could see me, you would think everything is fine. There are enough men in tuxedos walking around this hotel ballroom to make Cousin Elaine's engagement party look like the Academy Awards. And I fit right in. This rented gown sweeps low across my back and, I must say, it looks good, especially with the blacktie man on my arm. It might be Elaine's party, but I know peopleaka the auntswill be looking at me, too. The aunts have measured me against Elaine all my life and I am tired of coming up secondbest. That's why I wanted to make a good showing tonight at her engagement party. Since I wasn't sure until a few days ago that I had either the dress or the man to make any kind of a showing, I should be feeling pretty good. Instead, I'm standing here with my mouth halfopen and my fingers locked in a death grip on the handle of my crystal punch cup. I've got a problem. Here's the deal. My datethe blacktie guyhas followed orders and has been holding his elbow out to me like a gentleman for the past two hours. The reason I asked him to do this was because my aunts notice those kinds of things in the same way they notice if a collar needs starching or a cuticle needs fixing. The elbow was my extra insurance for tonight. Of course, all of that elbow holding looks rather odd now that my date is standing here in front of Aunt Ruth giving me The Speech. You know the onehow he's not ready for commitment and...it's not me, it's him. Of course, it's him. I try clearing my throat to bring Doug back to reality, but he doesn't pause in his recitation. He's so into his role, he's forgotten something important. He's a pretend date; he's not the real thing. When we walk out the door, we both fly free. He goes back to the coffee shop where my best friend, Cassie, met him and I go back to my nodate, but okay life. There is no commitment to be feared. We're not a couple on the verge of anything. We're barely past the name tag stage. Unfortunately, I can't say any of that to Doug because Aunt Ruth is right here listening. You may have figured out by now that most of the people here tonight might be under the impression that Doug is quite taken with me, or at least knows me much better than he really does. As I said, Doug and his elbow were my extra little bit of insurance for tonight and we sort of got carried away putting on a show for everyone. Even Aunt Ruth, who has been distracted since the party started, has apparently surfaced from her worries long enough to make the assumption that Doug is very interested in me. Which was what I wanted, except that I never thoughtAunt Ruth would come over and ask me when I was getting engaged like her dear daughter, my cousin, Elaine, the perfect one. The fact that Aunt Ruth then turned to Doug and said he looked like a fine young man shouldn't have set his teeth to rattling, but it did. Right now, Doug has his eyes firmly focused on Aunt Ruth and is telling her all of the reasons why he isn't ready for a commitment like that. Aunt Ruth has clearly scared away any common sense Doug has. I know she does that to people so he's not completely to blame. I look at him closer. She might have upset his breathing, too. He hasn't inhaled once since he started explaining himself to her. It's a Sunday evening and all Doug was supposed to do was smile at people, do the elbow thing and occasionally look down at me adoringly. It didn't seem that hard wTronstad, Janet is the author of 'Going to the Chapel ', published 2007 under ISBN 9780373785797 and ISBN 0373785798.