Gateways to Happiness

Our journey toward happiness begins the moment we are born, when we enter the world, innocent and wide-eyed, and hungry for what life has to teach us. You may wonder, what does a child, or newborn, know about what it takes to be happy? But let me assure you: Very young children intuitively reach for the first gateway each time they hold out their arms to be loved, nestle into their mother's lap, or look up, searching, into the faces of the brothers and sisters gathered around their crib or playpen. They instinctively know that the warmth, comfort, love, and security they crave can all be found with the members of their family. Family is the first gateway to happiness, and it's the only one of the seven gateways that's open to us right from birth, from that magic moment when we first open our eyes as infants and see two (or more) much bigger eyes looking back at us--eyes that are filled with hope and joy, with tenderness and love. These eyes tell us instantly that we are not alone and begin to form the boundaries of our fragile world. Families give our lives a history and context; we are an inextricable part of a larger unit complete with its own unique challenges and gifts. Families play an incredibly important role in shaping the person we ultimately become--and, if we let them, they can be an invaluable source of support and stability in our often unpredictable lives. It is frequently said that the strongest, most unshakable bond between humans is the love of a mother for her child. And it is this special closeness that forms the heart of the family unit. The love our parents have for us usually creates one of the most enduring and rewarding relationships we'll ever have. In the best of circumstances, the unconditional love we receive from our parents and, if we have them, from our siblings, provides us with a kind of acceptance and security we can always rely on to help us over life's stumbling blocks and bring us happiness throughout our lives. This certainly doesn't mean that your family has to be the picture of storybook perfection in order to bring something valuable to your life. In fact, very few families are perfect. They are comprised of human beings, after all, and no matter how good our intentions, there are always going to be bumps along the path. You may be an only child, or have a strained relationship with your parents, or feel infinitely closer to your group of friends than you actually do to your family members. But no matter what your situation, the gateway of family is always open to you, and you can share in the tremendous joy it brings if you are willing to make the effort. The bond we share with our family members stands out among the rest of our relationships, because, often, our families know us better than just about anyone else. Our parents have watched us grow and change; they know how we respond when we are hurt or scared; they know and accept our strengths and weaknesses. Our siblings share some of our most cherished memories: the silly games we invented as children or the wonderful holiday foods that Mom always prepared. Shared history, although not always pleasant, creates a special kind of intimacy. And as we grow older, we come to appreciate more and more what it means to have people in our lives who know us so completely. The ties among family members are often so strong that we can't escape them, even if we want to. The familiar saying "Blood is thicker than water" refers to the incredible strength of familial relationships. You may not get along perfectly with one of your siblings--perhaps you were competitive as children, or perhaps you felt as though your parents always spoiled your younger brother without taking your feelings into account--but chances are, he or she is going to be a part of your life for the long haul. And for that reason, we need to learn to view all of our family ties as budding opportunities that, with care and attention,Retton, Mary Lou is the author of 'Gateways to Happiness' with ISBN 9781578563470 and ISBN 157856347X.