Cowboy Logic The Wit and Wisdom of Kinky Friedman (And Some of His Friends)

Chapter One Cowboy Logic Happiness is a moving target. We're not happy until you're not happy. If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one on the end of your arm. Never dig for treasure with a short-handled shovel. If you can read this, you're standing on my head. Cowboy's Epitaph You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on your saddle. It may not be the easy way, but it's the cowboy way. Anything worth cryin' can be smiled. This country was a better place when the cowboys all sang and their horses were smart. Everything comes out in the wash if you use enough Tide. Never take a whiz on an electric fence. Be yourselfthat way you never have to remember who you are. Courtesy is owed. Respect is earned. Love is given. If you want to wake up in the morning smilin', go to bed with a coat hanger in your mouth. Anybody can drive a straight nail. Only two kinds of people wear cowboy hats: cowboys and assholes. The judges of who is a cowboy should be God and small children. It's okay to think you're a cowboyunless you happen to run into someone who thinks he's an Indian. Give a cowpoke enough rope and he'll either hog-tie himself or start up a rope factory. Always seek wide open spaces, except between your ears. Cheer up, it only gets worse. Find what you like and let it kill you. Hang on tight, spur hard, and let 'er buck. Copyright 2006 by Kinky FriedmanFriedman, Kinky is the author of 'Cowboy Logic The Wit and Wisdom of Kinky Friedman (And Some of His Friends)', published 2007 under ISBN 9780312331573 and ISBN 0312331576.