Complete Acoa Sourcebook Adult Children of Alcoholics at Home, at Work and in Love

Chapter 5 Recovery Hints It is important to be clear what recovery means for adult children. Alcoholism is a disease. People recovering from alcoholism are recovering from a disease. The medical model is accepted by all responsible folks working in alcoholism treatment. Being the child of an alcoholic is not a disease. It is a fact of your history. Because of the nature of this illness and the family response to it, certain things occur that influence your self-feelings, attitudes and behaviors in ways that cause you pain and concern. The object of ACOA recovery is to overcome those aspects of your history that cause you difficulty today and to learn a better way. To the degree that none of us have ideal childhoods and to the degree that even an ideal childhood may be a cause for some concern, we are all recovering to some extent or other, in some way or other. Because there are so many alcoholic families and because we have been fortunate in being able to study them, it is possible to describe in general terms what happens to children who grow up in that environment. To the degree that other families have similar dynamics, individuals who have grown up in other "dysfunctional" systems identify with and recover in very much the same way. RECOVERY HINTS FOR ADULT CHILDREN Reading the book Adult Children of Alcoholics is the first step toward recovery. This section addresses the questions "What now?" and "How can I protect the quality of my recovery?" For those recovering from addiction to alcohol and/or drugs. If you have been in recovery for a year or more, you are ready to proceed to the next step. Many folks who are doing well staying sober experience the nagging feeling that there is a piece missing. Addressing the ways in which your past impacts on your present and filling in those empty spaces will enrich the quality of your sobriety. If you have been in recovery for less than a year, give yourself the rest of the year to concentrate on staying sober or clean. That has to be your first priority. There will be plenty of time to go on from there, but it has to be first things first, and sobriety comes first. If you keep relapsing or can't put ninety days together . . . Many times folks find themselves unable to maintain sobriety because they are using the substance in order not to feel the pain of their secret. "You are as sick as your secrets" is an expression that makes a lot of sense. Keeping the secret keeps you stuck. The alcoholic family system is a place of lots of secrets. You may need, if this is your situation, to work first with a professional who understands substance abuse and understands what it means to be an ACOA. The purpose of this is to expose your secretand#151:if only to you and your therapistand#151:and drain some of the pus out. (Some folks are able to use the fifth step of AA to do this, but it doesn't work for everyone.) Most of the secrets in my experience relate to shame. Many men aWoititz, Janet Geringer is the author of 'Complete Acoa Sourcebook Adult Children of Alcoholics at Home, at Work and in Love' with ISBN 9781558749603 and ISBN 1558749608.