Carp Fishing on Valium - Graham Parker - Hardcover - 1 ED

ISBN: 0312264852 TITLE: Carp Fishing on Valium AUTHOR: Parker, GrahamEXCERPT: At that time of the day--about eleven a.m. on a brilliant July morning--my grey plimsoles had wings on them. They seemed to propel the rest of me forward as if the compass and map that dictated my direction were sequestered in their toe-caps, and not in the feverish spin of my head. Bounding down Woodend Road with all the energy in my wiry thirteen-year-old frame crackling under my skin, I flew across Blackdown Road and disappeared into the woods like a hare.I could never be happier. The summer holidays had begun with a firm demarcation, a tingling, anticipatory glee, but now, after a seemingly endless time, they promised to continue into eternity, as if each night of sleep was a death to be resurrected from each sparkling morning. That''s how it seemed, at any rate, until that dreaded, stomach-churning moment that arrived a week, two days, or the night before the blackest day of the year: the end of the summer holidays.That moment, however, was eons away. Beyond the creosoted fence that bordered the far side of Blackdown Road, I arrived at the dung pit, my first stop of the day. I kicked around in the horse manure and turned over a few brandlings, those sticky red-striped worms that perch love so much. Then I thought of grass snake eggs, for I had found a lone papery specimen here last year. I couldn''t remember what I''d done with it: traded it for marbles? a bird''s egg? It seemed too much like a prize I would keep, place in an aquarium full of dung, and smuggle into the warmest spot in the house until it hatched. But racking my scatty, adrenaline-loaded brain, I recovered no recollection, and so, tapping the sweet-smelling cack from my shoes, I pelted off down the hill under the cathedral of elms, oaks, chestnuts, and pines.As I bounced down the stony slope, casting fitful glances at the green horse pastures on either side, my mind sizzled with the choices that lay before me: I could keep going straight, over the sandy track at the bottom of the pastures and onward to the edge of the army married quarters in search of lizards on the heath. I could swing right at the track, head down to the back of the church, cross the road by the army museum, drop onto the tail end of Blackdown Road, and arrive at the canal under Kernley Bridge to hunt newts, leeches, frogs, and snakes, keeping a sharp lookout for pike in the weed beds. Or I could take a similar tack but veer left opposite the old museum and trudge up the road toward Pirbright and cut off into the gorse and broom thickets to the snake pit. On a day like this, lizards would be under the tins warming up, yet it was still cool enough for slow-worms and grass snakes--perhaps I might even spot an adder. All my options seemed good, any combination of choices was possible at this hour, and every scenario was likely to present the opportunity to pursue my natural history obsession of the moment: collecting birds'' eggs.There are some who may find the practice abhorrent; indeed, both of my bibles--The Observer''s Book of Birds and The Observer''s Book of Birds'' Eggs--chastised against such temptation. But we ´´eggers,'''' as we called ourselves, were sincere nature lovers, environmentalists before the word was invented. We loved wildlife in every form. (All right, I couldn''t resist kicking the heads off of dandelions when bees settled upon them, and I once went through a bizarre and highly destructive phase of swinging a five-foot fiberglass fishing rod, tip-end in hand, cork butt to water, at baby pike as they hung motionless in the shallows of the canal waiting for prey. But bees are plentiful, and I quickly went through the pike-bashing stage, presumably a juvenile chemical imbalance, soon turning my hotheaded attentions to the destruction of property and the letting down of army officials'' car tires--much less cruel practices.) Our policy was to take only one egg per nest from a clutch of four; we would neverParker, Graham is the author of 'Carp Fishing on Valium - Graham Parker - Hardcover - 1 ED' with ISBN 9780312264857 and ISBN 0312264852.