Bullies, Tyrants and Impossible People How To Beat Them Without Joining Them

Chapter One:N.I.C.E.How to Beat Them Without Joining Them Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People are everywhere They're at the office, down the street, at the mall, on an airplane, in the checkout line, in the next highway lane, on the Internet, on the phone. They're male, female, old and crotchety, young and feisty, strangers, relatives, and even people who call themselves friends. Sometimes it seems like everywhere you turn, there's another one: your nothing-you-do-is-good-enough boss, your no-price-is-ever-low-enough client, the next-door neighbor whose dog barks all night, the guy at the movies who sits between two empty seats and won't move over so you and your friend can sit together, the maitre d' who looks through you like you don't exist, the granite-hearted lost-baggage attendant, the meter maid who sees you running up with change but won't stop writing that ticket, the piggish developer who'd rather lose the property than share the profit, the purchasing agent who pits suppliers against each other until one crumples, the broker whose commission is more important than the sale, the chief executive officer (C.E.O.) whose fragile ego is all that matters. Life's difficult people can make everyday life hell. Every conversation is a conflict. Every sale is a test. Every contract is a headache. Every meeting is a battle. Every deal is a war. They make life difficult, if not impossible. They even tempt you to become one of them. Fight fire with fire, stubborn with stubborn, anger with anger, temper with temper, ego with ego. But that rarely works. It usually just brings an unpleasant situation to an unsatisfying end. You're Nice. So what? You're a nice person. Maybe not every hour of every day, but in general you're basically nice or try to be or, at least, want others to think you're nice. And there are plenty of others like you: people who have their ups and downs, people who don't want to be seen as pushovers, people who are deal breakers, who have short tempers, points they won't bend on, "matters of principle," or even occasional bouts of plain old stubbornness. In the end, however, most of us "nice people" find a way to work out our differences in the confrontations of life, whether they're business encounters, social situations, or family issues. If the person with whom you interact is reasonable, ratio- nal, and sensible, resolutions are relatively simple. Sure, some issues may be challenging, some take longer than others to resolve, some are complicated, even temporarily aggravating, but usually you find a way. You each give and take, listen and learn, and find enough common ground to reach a conclusion. Butand this is a big butwhat happens when you face someone who isn't nice, who doesn't try to be nice, or who doesn't care whether other people think they're nice or not? What do you do when you come across a really impossible person (and there are plenty of them)? Then what, Mr. Nice Guy? When the other side isn't sensible or reasonable or sane, how do you resolve your issues, make a deal, settle a dispute, or decide where to have dinner? When you find yourself across the table, backyard, room, or phone line from a truly nasty, difficult, even irrational individual, then what are your choices? A. Give up? Run for cover, close your eyes, and wait until it's over? If she attacks from the get-go, do you wave the white flag and surrender? If she blindsides you the moment you let your guard down, do you turn the other cheek and get clobbered on the other cheek? B. Get nasty back? Must you stop being nice and turn nasty, difficult, aShapiro, Ronald M. is the author of 'Bullies, Tyrants and Impossible People How To Beat Them Without Joining Them', published 2005 under ISBN 9781400050116 and ISBN 1400050111.