Baby Chronicles

Monday, March 1 My assistant, Mitzi, cancelled the office waiting room subscriptions toVogueandElleand replaced them withFit PregnancyandAmerican Baby.I realize now that I should have appreciated it when she was only giving me fashion advice. Frankly, the one magazine Mitzi should be allowed to read is her signature publication,Harper's Bizarre(sic). My name is Whitney Blake Andrews, and today I'm starting a new volume of my personal journal. It's been quite a ride since that first day two years ago when I began keeping what I fondly callThe Whitney Chronicles.My best friend, Kim Easton, has overcome breast cancer, and her son Wesley has turned three. I've been made vice president of Innova Software, located in downtown Minneapolis, and been married for almost two years to Dr. Chase Andrews, the most incredible husband in the universe. That's my personal bias, of course. And Mitzi Fraiser is still the most aggravating person on this planet, but she'smyaggravating person, so I love her anyway. Most of the time...at least some of the time...in brief spurts...Hmm...Idoremember having a pleasant thought about her sometime between last Christmas and New Year's Eve. I think. Kim stopped over after work tonight so that we could debrief each other on our day at the office. She likes to come to my house for three reasons. There is no LEGO embedded in the carpet, Ernie and Elmo are not the anchormen during the evening news, and there is always chocolate. I've been sacrificing myself in the name of medical science, researching the curative uses for chocolate. It has the same health-promoting chemicals as fruits and veggies. It's the least I can do for the good of mankind. How often did I dream Mom would tell me to eat my chocolate cake instead of my Brussels sprouts? Oh, yes, that's another thing I don't understand about Mitzi. She hates chocolate. This is another indication that she is an extraterrestrial--something Kim and I have suspected all along. "What's up with Mitzi these days?" Kim curled her feet beneath her on my overstuffed couch, looking all of fifteen, instead of her actual thirty-three years. "She's been acting weird lately." "More than usual? How can you tell?" Kim grinned and took a piece of milk chocolate with almonds. "The magazines, for one thing. I got a copy ofPregnancyin my mailbox this morning. And the fact that she's turned into the food police. Did you see her whip that Twinkies out of Bryan's hand yesterday? You'd have thought he was having a toxic-waste sandwich." Bryan Kellund was my assistant before Mitzi was assigned to me. He's the only person I've ever known who can disappear in plain sight. He fades into the background as though he's wearing wallpaper camouflage. That's why I'm so amazed that he found a girlfriend who's even more inconspicuous and retiring than he. They cook tapioca pudding to spice up their dessert menu. Bryan's current idea of subterfuge is sneaking into the office break room and substituting decaffeinated coffee for the fully leaded stuff and then patiently watching and waiting for Harry's and Mitzi's energy to wane. I've caught him a time or two, but I never say anything about it because I've done it myself. Anything that makes Mitzi and Harry a little less hyperactive is fine with me. "I've learned not to attempt to figure out what Mitzi is up to," I said. "Frankly, I'm more curious about Harry." My boss, Harry Harrison, is a software genius and our office mascot. Okay,Harry'snot our mascot, exactly, but hishairis. Two or three years ago he discovered the curly perm and he's resembled a Chia Pet ever since. "I think he's depressed," I murmured, more to myself than to Kim. "Harry? Don't you thinkI'drecognize it if Harry were depressed?" Kim has battled depression much of herBaer, Judy is the author of 'Baby Chronicles ', published 2007 under ISBN 9780373785872 and ISBN 0373785879.