Baby Brother's Blues A Novel

Regina was waiting for Blue. To the untrained eye, she looked like any other attractive, energetic black woman in her midthirties, going about her normal Saturday tasks. She stopped at the drugstore for some mouthwash, bought fifty of the James Baldwin commemorative stamps at the post office, had a long lunch at the Soul Vegetarian restaurant. Adrift in an afternoon of waiting, Regina was looking for something, anything, to distract her from counting the hours as they passed at their usual speed, although she could have sworn they were barely crawling by. It had started last night. As she watched her husband pull on his black cashmere coat and reach for his perfectly blocked homburg, she was suddenly afraid of where he was going and what he might do when he got there. "Blue," she said softly, "I don't think I can do this anymore." Her timing was terrible. He had already uttered the phrase that served as their signal to announce the always surreal moment when her husband left their house, got into a big, black Lincoln with General Richardson, and disappeared into the night. What he did in these moments he did without the sanction of anyone or anything, other than his absolute confidence in the accuracy of his own moral compass and the trust and permission of the people who protected him with their loyalty, their gratitude, and their silence. Her words floated there between them. Blue, his hand already on the doorknob, stopped to look at her standing nervously in the darkened hallway. Even in the low light, she could see his eyes gleaming, blue as a clear mountain stream, fathoms deep and ancient. She shivered. After two years of marriage, the always unexpected color of her husband's otherworldly eyes still surprised her, twinkling like sapphires in his dark brown face. Although he had his mother's high cheekbones and his father's lean, compact physique, Blue was the only one in his family with those eyes. Speculation about where they came from had poisoned his father against his mother, although she was innocent of any infidelity. Many years later, after her aunt Abbie predicted correctly that Regina would come to Atlanta and fall in love with a man "who had the ocean in his eyes," Blue confirmed Abbie's theory that his eyes were a way to be sure that in this lifetime, unlike the last two when they had missed each other by a hair, Regina couldn't walk past him without noticing. This time around, that would have been impossible. At this moment, her husband's blue eyes were dark pools, magical and mysterious, full of questions she had to answer. "Can't do what, baby?" His voice was gentle, but she knew that General was already waiting for Blue out front. This was no time to talk. Regina spread her arms wide, palms up, and looked at him helplessly. "This. You know, this." His eyes softened a little, but he didn't come toward her. She felt time passing, but Blue seemed not to notice. She had never seen him become impatient and he didn't now. Regina, however, was increasingly uncomfortable. The idea startled her. She was never uncomfortable around Blue. How could she be? He knew her thoughts almost before she did. She had even accused him of mind reading once or twice, and he hadn't denied it. But she didn't want him to read her mind tonight. There were some things that deserved a moment all their own. A moment not already weighted down by midnight comings and going, and cars with tinted windows, and drivers who waited out front with the motor running. "Sometimes I worry, that's all." She walked up to him and kissed his cheek softly. HCleage, Pearl is the author of 'Baby Brother's Blues A Novel' with ISBN 9780345481108 and ISBN 0345481100.