10-Second Kiss How to Turn Your Relationship into a Lifelong Romance -- In Just 24 Hours!a Magical Formula for Passion, Pleasure, and Playfulness

The Magical Countdown When a couple stands at the altar and vows to love each other "till death do us part," they take for granted that they will stay intimately connected forever. The kiss at the end of the ceremony is symbolic of that connection, and throughout the relationship the kiss remains at the core. The kiss is the most intimate connection possible between two people--even more intimate than sexual intercourse, as I'll explain later in this chapter. Sadly, as the years pass, staying connected with our mate gradually takes a back seat to all the mundane duties and chores that exist in a marriage. In reality, everything else should take a back seat to our love for each other. Jennifer and Ron could not remember when their relationship changed. All they knew was with two young children, two careers, and too little time, their marriage was in jeopardy. They had become working partners instead of loving partners. It was their thirteenth anniversary and Jennifer's mother had offered to baby-sit so they could have a special weekend, but instead of a romantic resort they chose to come to my lecture, hoping for a miracle. I had asked for a volunteer couple from the audience to tell me what they believed was the biggest problem in their relationship. Jennifer and Ron came up on the stage at my urging and began to explain. "We have no time for each other. We're both so busy that at the end of the day, we just give each other a quick peck on the cheek, mumble good night, and we're off to sleep," said Jennifer. "Sometimes--often, actually--we don't even bother with the kiss." Egging them on a little, I asked Ron how it was that they couldn't find the time to invest in the most important aspect of their lives. "Well," he responded, "we both have demanding jobs, which sometimes require travel away from home. Jennifer travels more than I do, at least once a month, but when I'm gone it's for a longer period of time. Usually a week or two. And, of course, there're the kids. They have to be driven to school each morning and picked up from day-care each evening. Then there's grocery shopping, meal preparation and cleanup--Jennifer does that while I help the kids with their homework. You wouldn't believe how much homework kids are given these days. After dinner and homework are over, we try to spend some quality time with the kids before we put them to bed. When one of us is gone on a business trip, it all falls on the other's shoulders." "On the weekends," Jennifer piped in, "we have the house to clean, the yard to tend, errands to run, home-repair chores, shopping for clothes and school supplies for the kids, and Ron's parents are elderly, so they require some of our time too. And, we do try to keep up some semblance of a social life, but it isn't easy." I replied that I could see they were certainly very busy people. Then I asked them, "Do you think you could find just ten seconds in your busy day to devote to your relationship?" At first they just laughed. They thought I was joking. When they realized it was a serious question, they both replied "yes" in unison. At this point, I turned to the five thousand people seated in the auditorium and, gesturing with my hands, I asked them all to stand up. Anxious for a stretch break, they complied willingly. But when I said, "Now, I want you all to face your partner and give him or her a ten-second kiss," there was an uproar of groans and sighs. Ignoring it, I added, "I'm going to time you, so no cheating or letting up before I say "stop'!" Somebody in the crowd asked, "Do we have to?" in a loud voice. "Come on," I said. "You can do it. This is not torture. It will be fun and it's part of the lecture. Yes, you have to do it!" This part of my lecture usually takKreidman, Ellen is the author of '10-Second Kiss How to Turn Your Relationship into a Lifelong Romance -- In Just 24 Hours!a Magical Formula for Passion, Pleasure, and Playfulness' with ISBN 9780440613978 and ISBN 0440613973.